Friday, January 21, 2011

Defining Testosterone

Last week, or maybe the week before, I had posted on Facebook that testosterone must mean that men can't remember or can't hear, something to that effect. It was simply joking of course, but I'm really starting to wonder what a man's genetic map looks like compared to a woman's. I used to think the things I experienced with my significant other were isolated to just us because I'm very close to being OCD in some aspects of my life, but the more I talk to other women, the more I realize this is becoming somewhat of an epidemic. Let me explain...

Men get undressed and leave their clothes in a pile somewhere. Usually it's within feet of a hamper because we're trying to make your lives easier, but somehow you're still missing the point.

Men lose/can't find anything and blame us saying we've moved it. Yes, I'm constantly trying to gaslight you. It's my undying wish to make your lives a game. No, you are lazy and don't look hard enough. That's why we have "places" for things. It's an amazing system. I put certain things in certain places so I WON'T lose them and it seems to work on a pretty consistent basis.

Men make seemingly innocent jokes about how things are just supposed to be a certain way. They get the old car while the woman gets the newer car. Men don't really buy things for themselves so the women can go out and buy pretty, new things. We aren't holding a gun to your head and taking all of your money like some old school western. When did society dictate this is how couples are supposed to behave? I'm not complaining necessarily, but I don't appreciate the impression that you poor men are suffering at the feet of your women desperately trying to please them in each and every way possible. If that were the case, we'd all have lives a lot more like the urban fantasies we read and cherish. I'm still waiting for Jacob Black to show up on my door step one of these days.

Please men, don't act like we're forcing you into these lives of sacrifice. We're not holding your video games hostage for diamonds, although it's a tempting thought. We don't expect the moon, but picking up your nasty, old drawers and placing them in the hamper without a week's worth of nagging would be a nice change of pace. I have enough things in life to make me feel guilty without worrying whether or not that new Coach bag means Ramen noodles for you for the next week. Thanks and hugs

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