Driving is like Coloring, You Need to Stay in the Lines!

If I almost die one more time this week, I'm going to get really angry.

Twice this week I was "this close" to a collision with another vehicle and there's no way either of these situations was my fault. I'm a good driver and I'm not just trying to toot my own horn, haha, get it? Ok, sorry, anyway, so I almost got into a head on because this person was not even on his side of the road and just kept coming like I wasn't even there. I actually braced for impact that's how close he was before he finally looked up and stopped. I about peed myself. Then there was this woman who was in a turn lane about to turn right when she decided she wanted to go straight as I was getting over myself. Thank God I saw her coming because she was about to make herself comfortable in my passenger side door at any moment.

I'm not trying to say I've never accidentally cut someone off or run a "pink" light, but I do think I'm more aware than your average driver, and more careful. I used to drive city buses for pete's sake, so I have picked up some better driving habits than most. I just can't seem to figure out what has happened to drivers in Maryland though. This isn't to say all states don't have horrible drivers, because they do, but since I'm living here now, I have to endure the idiocy on a daily basis now.

I really think these people believe they are the only ones on the road. They drift all over the place, they rarely stay on their side of the lines, the just merge in and out without signaling, without looking; it's horrendous. I have my son with me a lot of the time and that's what scares me more... he's too little to be in an accident and if someone's laziness and rudeness ever caused an accident while he was in the car I'd be in jail for killing someone.

My biggest pet peeve is not signaling. Oh my-lanta... you have a freakin' turn signal; it takes a whopping two seconds to turn it on, use it!!! It's just a courtesy that has fallen by the wayside obviously and it's not only rude, but potentially dangerous. The biggest offenders... Mercedes owners. I figured a fancy car like that would HAVE to come with turn signals, but from the obvious lack of usage, I'm thinking they've left them out on those cars. Such a shame to have spent all that money and not even get turn signals!

Do I have road rage? Sure, a lot of people do nowadays and I'm not sure where it's stemmed from and it's not a good thing, but if people would just slow down, realize they have to share the road, and just use basic common sense, we wouldn't have all these issues. I don't know how Noah doesn't have a worse vocabulary than he does as I know I've slipped here and there with my "french" when encountered with a poor motorist. I just don't understand where these people picked up all these bad habits and it's unfortunate because they will most likely teach their kids these bad habits as well. Driving really is a privilege and we act like it's a God given right in Northern Virginia. It's out of control. People are very brave behind the wheel of a multi-ton vehicle and that scares me. Get off of your phone, stop messing with your make-up, stop yelling at your kids, and pay attention and drive like your life depends on it, because mine does thanks and I'd appreciate you not trying to kill me today.

I Might Have One Too Many Pair...

I love shoes. To those who know me, this isn't a big surprise. I also love clothes, make up, product in general. I love shopping. Pretty typical girly things, but I'm now wondering how I got this way. I'm getting to the point that I want to actually pare down my possessions and I'm wondering if that means something is wrong with me.

I wasn't denied stuff as a kid and in the same turn, I wasn't that kid who wore designer duds and shopped at all the best stores. I'm not sure when the transition happened, but at this point in my life I realize I have a lot of stuff. I'm not a compulsive shopper by any means, but I could honestly shop all day everday and not think twice. I love the way new stuff makes me feel. The only problem is it's a short lived sensation, which would probably explain why I never get tired of it. I will literally spend hours in a store, walking around and around, contemplating my purchases and wondering if there is a better deal, something else I might need, justifying the purchase. It's become a science to me. If I had a degree in shopping, it would surely be a doctorate.

The only thing stopping me from having more than I currently do is the fact that I do have a limited amount of money to my name and a finite amount of space, but there is always hope. This is my grand goal in life, to keep shopping. Some people want to cure cancer and have world peace, and I am just hoping to have a closet big enough to satisfy my desires one day. I need help. It's really not entirely my fault... all these companies keep coming out with such adorable, enticing goodies, what am I supposed to do? I'm a marketing departments best friend. I'm the one they make the pretty bottles and "new and improved' products for. I totally eat it all up.

One day I'll be old and decrepit, but at least I'll look cute and smell good.

I Think my Ovaries Fell Out Yesterday...

So it was Bring Your Child to Work Day yesterday and for some God forsaken reason, I decided to once again volunteer to help out with the days events. How I didn't remember the torture from the previous year, I'll never know. What made it even more horrendous was the fact that we were going to have about 30 more children than last year, where's the ice pick?

Registration began around 830 and before we knew it, little ones and not so little ones, were all around the building. We always think it wise to load them up on donuts and juice to start the day, but honestly, they've proven that sugar doesn't really hype kids up... it's usually the fact that they're somewhere new with a bazillion other kids that hypes them up. I was sweating and I NEVER sweat so I knew we were about to enter a new level of chaos. I really had no idea what was planned for the day so I was just hoping 3 o'clock was just around the corner.

I thought it might be fun to get my own child in on the activities and told Dad to go ahead and bring him in. I'm a freaking genius because now I had my highly energetic 5 year old to watch after in addition to 20 other six and seven year olds. Joy. Thankfully there were other parents in on the adventure otherwise some kids would be missing today.

The day actually went off pretty well and the kids were mildly entertained and the adults were thankful for an early release. I once again was reaffirmed with the decision that I was right to have only one child. I just don't know how people with three, four, or 19 kids do this... everyday... for the rest of their lives. Maybe they use medicinal marijuana.

Perhaps I just don't have the patience and understanding that these parents of large broods have. Perhaps I'm selfish. Perhaps I'm not as adventurous. Whatever the reason, I do have a heavy heart when Noah mentions having a little brother or sister and I know he'll never enjoy that lifestyle. I do worry that I'm robbing him of some right of passage to be a big brother, but at the same time, I honestly feel he is so exceptional because of the individual attention his father and I can devote to him.

I just don't know if I could ever love another child they way I love him. I don't know if I could go through the difficulties that I went through right after having him. I don't know if I have the patience and energy to go through any of this again and some people will say I'm making excuses and if I am, so be it. I get tired of how people act like only children will be defects of society and that it's our duty to reproduce as many times as humanly possible before our eggs dry up. I'm also tired of the media sensationalizing these unusually large families and making it look like it's so much fun and these parents have all the time, energy, and resources in the world. I think it's a bit socially irresponsible and reckless considering how overpopulated and screwed up our world is getting. I'll save that thought for another time. I'm worn out.

People Scare Me

I don't know if it's because there's just so much more availability and access to the world nowadays or if it's because people really are that much more crazy, but I am constantly surprised and disturbed by people out there. It used to be a random story of someone far away and you'd read the story and be surprised and maybe a little disgusted, but thought it was a fluke of nature and you would move on with your life. Not anymore. These "stories" are popping up more and more and I'm truly worried for the state of mankind and for the life my son will have to live when he's older. Thankfully he has very little idea of what the world is really like right now.

So I hear this story on the radio the other day about a woman who recently found out she was pregnant, happy times right? but no, she has a problem... she doesn't know who the father is and there are three, count 'em 3, different men it could be! I was disgusted slightly, but not as much as when I started hearing the callers trying to help her figure out what to do. I was truly amazed at how many people in just this area have been in the same situation and they all talked about it so nonchalantly. I'm no saint, believe you me, but this was too much. Are you really sleeping around that much that you can't even pin down who knocked you up? Ugh! No wonder there's so much disease out there. I'm wearing gloves and a mask permanently.

Then I hear of a story of a person who intentionally threw up on someone at a baseball game, a child no less. I have a severe aversion to vomit and this story just made it worse. That poor kid. What is wrong with someone who would do this? And again, this is why drunk people make me insane. How is drinking to the point of spewing on fellow fans fun? There's a special place for people like this.

I could go on and on, and I probably will have more fun stories like these in the days to come, but I have a bad taste in my mouth right now, so I'll end this here. Have fun with the crazies out there!

Dog Poo Shoes

So my son is dropped off to me this morning and I go to put him in the car when I get a very unpleasant whiff from his shoes. I asked him what was on his shoes to which he adorably replies, dog poo. I turn them over and indeed, they both have dog poo on the bottom and it's all nice and worked into the tread of his sneakers. What an awesome way to start my day I think. At this point, I'm silently cursing his father in my head... how do you let your child go around in dog poo shoes? I tell Noah his dad is in trouble and he valiantly defends him. Poor kid.

I proceed to call Daddy Dearest and ask him if he even tried to clean the shoes and he said he did which I find hard to believe considering how much is still on there, but then I remember I'm speaking to a man and their idea of cleaning leaves something to be desired. Thankfully there is an extra pair at his daycare so as soon as we get there I ask for a plastic bag and explain the poo shoes. They will be delivered to Dad by the end of the day. Currently they are steaming in my trunk. Yummy.

What is Wrong with Men?

So it's not news that a lot of celebrity males are having issues in their relationships. I have to say I am so tired of hearing that these guys have "sex addictions" I am sure there's a such thing, but I feel like men are using this way too much lately. I find it hard to believe they all have a "problem." I don't get why they bother getting married if they know they like a lot of bootie. I'm starting to lose all faith in the institution that is marriage.

I am recently divorced myself, and it was my doing and it's not something I'm proud of, nor did I ever see myself as being someone who is divorced, but it is what it is and now I am moving on. I'm in another monogamous relationship and am quite happy and things are getting to a point where marriage has been spoken about and I'm not sure how I feel about it. It just seems the divorce rate is so high and people have such issues staying faithful anymore. I'm honestly trying to figure out why people even bother getting married in the first place. I know couples who have been together for quite a long time, they're not married, no kids, just living together and while they're not the best relationship I've ever seen, it seems to work. So what is it about people that we have to go through this rigamarole and spend all this money and effort to get some certificate that proves we did this and the tax breaks. What does marriage really mean anymore?

I don't want to go through this mess again... it's sad and painful and expensive. Is that what's keeping me from doing it again or am I just trying to really understand this whole "til death do us part" stuff? Am I making excuses to not get married? Do I just want a pretty ring? Do I want to avoid the whole "boyfriend" term? I'm just not sure what I'm supposed to do or feel at this point in my life. I see so many people in unhappy marriages and relationships and I don't understand why they do it. I hear all the time that marriage requires work and I'm thinking, I have a job, why do I want another one that doesn't even pay me. I feel that if you truly find that one person that makes you happy and makes you want to live life, then it shouldn't be a lot of work. I also don't expect there to be rainbows and puppies everyday, but seriously... why put up with mediocre?

Then I see these people who get married over and over (Larry King, Elizabeth Taylor) and I am so perplexed. What?! Obviously something is wrong with these people. Why on Earth would you want to marry someone who's been married more than a couple times and on the same note, why do they keep wanting to get married when they can't seem to make it work? I guess I just don't understand why we try so hard to have these lifetimes with one person when there are so many people out there. I'm not advocating sleeping with everyone who walks through the door, but maybe we're being unrealistic in our expectations of life and our roles as men and women. Just a thought.

Here Goes Nothing... Literally

This is my very first blog entry. Why it's taken me so long to jump on this bandwagon I'll never know, but alas, here I am. I've decided I need more places to unleash all that is me and my ramblings. I'm hoping to actually do something productive with this blog so we'll see how that goes.

I'm going to be delving into parenthood and photography and just everyday life. I'm hoping it will help me get somewhere I've never been. I appreciate your patience and your humoring me.