The Man's Man

So.... a friend and I have been discussing what has become of men. We don't mean literally of course, but we're wondering what has become of the manly man in our generation? Our society has made pansies of them. Everything is done for us nowadays... food is readily available wherever you turn, there are mechanics to fix your car, shoot, you can hire just about anyone to do anything you need which leaves a lot of our men sitting on their Blackberries doin' a whole lotta nuthin. We partly blame the uber-feminists out there that have forced men into submission, but honestly... we miss those guys who go out and chop wood or know how to really fix a car or at the very least, will change the light bulb when it goes out. Then they wonder why we're reading teen angst novels. As of late, it seems to be the only place to find a "guy".

I heard about T having to chop wood for his family's wood stove when he was younger and it immediately brought me this image of a sweaty, muscular guy swinging an ax. That's what we're missing nowadays. Sadly, most of the time now guys are either playing video games or are searching something on their smartphones. I want to throw phones into the river most days. All we women want is to be swept off our feet once in a while. Catch us off guard. Do something unexpected, and that doesn't mean pick your socks up off the floor. Although, that does garner bonus points in my house. Either way, be a man. Act like a man and take charge. Show us what you're made of.

We watch all those sappy chick flicks for a reason. They're made for a reason. Because it's FANTASY! How many men are like that in real life? I feel sorry for little girls growing up in the world today. Disney's even given up because they don't want little girls to think there's a such thing as Prince Charming. So sad. We shouldn't have to be the ones to make all the moves and spell it out. Be that guy in the book or movie. Make us swoon. Make us want you because you're the man we always fantasized about.

Happy Valentine's Day

Working Out

is actually working out! I told myself I would get back into my exercise routines for the new year, as did thousands of other people I'm sure, but I'm actually sticking to it and believe it or not, enjoying it. I'm not sure what changed, but we did switch gyms and I tend to feel more comfortable at this new one. I have also made myself start getting up early in the mornings to do it and I've actually stuck with that as well. It's become a sort of addiction at this point. I even find that when I'm feeling particularly antsy, annoyed, or angry (which is easily any day of the week ending in "y") that I WANT to go to the gym.

Through therapy I've found out that I have some "ahem" control issues and I think I am trying to just focus on those things in the world that I actually have control over and this is one of them. I like having my quiet time in the morning with just the iPod and me and whatever I decide to try to do to my body that day. I actually do feel better after wards. Who would have thought? I don't know why I was able to get into this routine now, but I hope I can stick with it.

At first, it was this thing to get into shape for the wedding, but now it's just this thing. It's a good distraction for life and keeps me from being a complete lump. Only other issue now is my increased appetitie that goes along with it. I'm soooo hungry! I guess that's a good thing. I just need to eat less of the junk my body craves so dearly and try to convince it that healthy food really is better. I'm not there just yet.

No Wonder Our Kids are _________

Feel free to fill that in with whatever word you'd like. I was going to put "stupid", but I'm sure I would have offended someone, but the simple truth is, our kids are behind many of their peers around the world. We close schools according to forecasts now! We used to wait until it actually snowed before deciding whether or not to go to school. Even then, it usually had to be a few inches at least! oh lord... I'm one of those parents now... we used to have to walk uphill both ways to school when I was a kid. Anyway... kids have so many days off a year as it is and now they close at the drop of a hat because they are more worried about getting sued by some parent than making sure our kids get a proper education.

Ok, ok... sure there are those neighborhoods that don't have great roads, well this is 2011... you would think that wouldn't be so much of an issue anymore. It's all pretty pathetic if you ask me. My son had last Monday off for MLK Jr. day and that's fine, but then he had this past Monday off and while I like to think it was because of the birth of his mother, unfortunately it was because of some teacher "work day" again. I'm thinking, why couldn't they have used last Monday to do whatever it is they do on teacher work days, or I don't know, evenings or weekends? Perhaps I'm being unfair, but I also think it's unfair that schools just figure parents can take off all the same days their kids can. We are blessed in that we have the daycare close by who is usually open, but then there are those days when even they are closed and thankfully we have our Meme, but she's going to be setting sail for Myrtle Beach soon and then we'll just have to flip a coin to see who stays home.

I digress. My main point is that we are taking so many days off and cutting out so many things that we used to learn as children and it makes me sad. Now I hear they're wanting to eliminate cursive writing in schools? I know most adults who can barely write legibly. Isn't that a staple a child should be learning, handwriting? Granted, most of us morph into some variation of cursive once we get older, but still... little hands need all the practice they can get. We're so concerned with making sure our kids are these little geniuses and multitaskers that we're cutting basic good education, manners, and etiquette.

I'm so tired of seeing the way children behave around me. Sadly, I can't shield Noah from all the idiots in the world and I feel him slipping away each day. I tried getting him into Karate as a way to help him have more concentration and focus, but I sit there and watch the class rolling my eyes because this age group (5-6 year olds) are just all over the place and the instructor doesn't seem to have any control over them. Why am I wasting money and time sitting here I keep asking myself. Luckily, his tenure there will be over soon. Maybe I'll try something else, or maybe I'll start teaching him more on my own. Most of these parents don't seem to care that their children aren't trying or paying attention and distracting from the class. It's usually because they have another younger kid on their hip, they're doing work, or chatting amongst themselves. No wonder your kids are hellions.

I'm not saying I'm the perfect parent or have the perfect kid by any means, but I do think a lot of parents are starting to shirk their responsibilities a whole lot. Stop having so many kids if you can't even get the first one right. Answer them when they call you. Don't expect schools to teach them everything. Be a parent and stop trying to be their friend. It doesn't help any of us.

stepping off of soapbox

site of the day... photojojo.com... if you're into photography stuffs... they have some really great things, very kitschy stuff. love it!

It's All About Me

I think the older I get, the more selfish I get. Maybe that's a horrible thing to say or to become, but frankly, I just don't care that much anymore. I try to do the right thing and be the nicer, better person, but it seems to get very little return in this day and age. I'm starting to realize it's my life and if I want it to be a certain way, then that requires certain sacrifices in other aspects of my life. Oh well.

I mean, why do we try so hard to make all this money and save all this money... we can't take it with us. I think it's funny how many hours people work, especially in this area, only to buy these ridiculous homes that are out in the middle of nowhere that they barely ever get to enjoy because they're just working all the time to pay for it anyway.

I try to be nice and go that little extra mile to help people out, be it letting a car get in front of me, or holding the door for someone and you barely get a "thank you" anymore. Everyone has become so self centered and I get tired of trying.

I see people all around me and on television that seem to get things they don't deserve so maybe life really is just a big crap-shoot. I tend to believe in karma and things happening for a reason, but now I'm not so sure. Maybe stuff just happens. We have no control. There are countless books on religion and happiness when I'm starting to think, none of it really matters. We each get a certain amount of years on this planet and you should just do what you do and enjoy it while you can. I guess I'm glad to just be able to wake up each day. Although some days, I'd love to just stay in bed and wait for the following day depending on how I feel that day.

Perhaps I should just enter curmudgeon-hood sooner that I had anticipated. I seem to be on the right track so far.

I think I'll start adding a little something extra to the blogs each day just for fun... today's "little something" is a new site I'm enjoying quite a lot as a make-up junkie that I am...

xsparkage.com

She's self taught for the most part and does some great stuff with make up and it's fun to see new products without having to shell out the dough myself.

Defining Testosterone

Last week, or maybe the week before, I had posted on Facebook that testosterone must mean that men can't remember or can't hear, something to that effect. It was simply joking of course, but I'm really starting to wonder what a man's genetic map looks like compared to a woman's. I used to think the things I experienced with my significant other were isolated to just us because I'm very close to being OCD in some aspects of my life, but the more I talk to other women, the more I realize this is becoming somewhat of an epidemic. Let me explain...

Men get undressed and leave their clothes in a pile somewhere. Usually it's within feet of a hamper because we're trying to make your lives easier, but somehow you're still missing the point.

Men lose/can't find anything and blame us saying we've moved it. Yes, I'm constantly trying to gaslight you. It's my undying wish to make your lives a game. No, you are lazy and don't look hard enough. That's why we have "places" for things. It's an amazing system. I put certain things in certain places so I WON'T lose them and it seems to work on a pretty consistent basis.

Men make seemingly innocent jokes about how things are just supposed to be a certain way. They get the old car while the woman gets the newer car. Men don't really buy things for themselves so the women can go out and buy pretty, new things. We aren't holding a gun to your head and taking all of your money like some old school western. When did society dictate this is how couples are supposed to behave? I'm not complaining necessarily, but I don't appreciate the impression that you poor men are suffering at the feet of your women desperately trying to please them in each and every way possible. If that were the case, we'd all have lives a lot more like the urban fantasies we read and cherish. I'm still waiting for Jacob Black to show up on my door step one of these days.

Please men, don't act like we're forcing you into these lives of sacrifice. We're not holding your video games hostage for diamonds, although it's a tempting thought. We don't expect the moon, but picking up your nasty, old drawers and placing them in the hamper without a week's worth of nagging would be a nice change of pace. I have enough things in life to make me feel guilty without worrying whether or not that new Coach bag means Ramen noodles for you for the next week. Thanks and hugs

Make-up, Speedlight, and Books... Oh My!!!

So, since it's been a while since I did any blogging, it's time for catch up. Well of course we had the holidays and those are always fun and maddening at the same time. Our family always goes overboard even when we say we won't. Perhaps, we should stop saying that.

My most prized new possession is the speedlight I received from my dear T. He knew it was one of those last major things I'd like to have as part of my burgeoning photography career. I had mentioned it here and there, but never thought seriously about it because it's kinda pricey and big, but there it was. I was so excited. I feel even more professional now with this huge spotlight on my camera. This thing is getting heavy. I'm going to develop a photographer's muscle in my neck just toting it around. Anyway, back to the awesomeness that is the speedlight... it makes such a huge difference in your photos. No more deer in the headlights, stark, unflattering shadows. This illuminates the whole room! We played around with it at Christmas for some family photos. I got it back out the other night to play with it some more. I feel like we're getting somewhere now.

I'll post some pics later.

Make up... my latest money stealing addiction. I mean, I've worn make up for some time now, but it's getting a bit out of hand. I'm discovering the joy of all those upscale brands out there, all the fun colors and products that are supposed to make you look natural without looking made up. At this rate I will be able to make a small country look gorgeous in no time. I love the crap these products tell you though... what they're supposed to do, what they're capable of. I think I should be able to pull a lawsuit out of this somehow.

New Books

I love to read. I've always loved reading. I love getting swept up in some other person's life for a while. I've now completed quite a few series as of late. I was convinced into reading The 39 Clues, loved them... still working on them. Yes, I know they're for young adults. I've read the Hunger Games trilogy... LOVED. I read the Trueblood series, also thoroughly enjoyed. Now I'm onto the Darkfever series. I owe all of these to my dear friends. I get so overwhelmed in a bookstore and never know what to choose next, so I just let my friends do it for me. So far, we're batting a thousand. I'm considering starting a book club amongst us.

I've started to realize that I like having distractions and lists. They give me control in a world where I have little control. I think that's what has been throwing me off all these years. Now I need to just continue to harness this power and we'll all be good.

Re-Vamp!

Ok, so this whole blog thing hasn't quite caught on the way I had hoped. This is due mainly to my laziness in keeping up with it and partly because of the lack of imagination to come up with cool new posts. I need to get out there somehow. Show the world who I am, show them what I got... that kinda thing.

34

My birthday is right around the corner. I'm into my mid-thirties now, mid thirties!!! I keep trying to figure out whatever happened to my twenties. I just feel like I'm hurtling towards the retirement home at this point and if I'm ever going to have something to show for myself, I better get going ASAP!

It's been a hectic few months... holidays, wedding planning, therapy, etc.. I'm in a new year and feel better than I have in quite a while. I think we've found a happy medium with the meds, I'm going back to the gym, I'm keeping all kinds of notes and journals. I have plans. I just hope I can keep up the momentum now. Let's be honest... I'm not one to keep up momentum well. I get bored easily and frustrated even more easily. I have decided though, that this time will be different. Don't ask me why or how... haven't gotten that far yet. I just know it will be. I'm going to make it be. I think I have a talent of some kind and just need a more well defined niche. I've got to push myself more than I ever have and that's not saying much. I do have my T though and with his help, I think I might actually be able to maintain this lifestyle more.

Deep Breaths.

I'm going to focus on the one thing I do love and do possess talent in... photography. After all the wedding hoopla has died down, I think I might try to take a class and I think I might try to make my own website and even perhaps get a gig of some kind. I can't give up. Not again. I won't let my life keep slipping through my fingers. I see it out there everyday and I keep thinking, why not me? When is it going to be my turn? I could do that! Well, now's my chance.

First step... blog more

This will become a new platform on which to once again start my life. I'm going to try to include more photography, put myself out there more. I have to tell myself it's ok to be selfish once in a while. I just don't want to lie on my deathbed one day and wonder what if about everything. I'm not getting any younger, and yes, I know I'm still so young. I can do this. It might hurt a little, or a lot, but I can do this.